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Burger Pie - Because being too serious is bad for you...

Burger Pie

Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…

Just for fun…..

Ingredients:-

1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry

Method:-

(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the  Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the  Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the  Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.

We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
 

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Proper Gluten free Pastry recipe, eat well on universal credit

We’ve tried all sorts of recipes. But sometimes the originals are the best.

Ingredients:-

1 ½ Cups (194g) of Plain Flour (Gluten free for us)
1 Tsp of Xanthan Gum.
¼ Tsp of Salt
170g of Salted Butter
1 Egg, beaten
2 Tbsp of cold Water
1 Egg beaten to brush

Method:-

(1) Make sure your Butter is fridge cold.
(2) Add the Flour, Butter and Salt to a large bowl and combine by hand until you have a crumbly texture.
(3) Add the Xanthan Gum and combine by hand.
(4) Add the Beaten Egg and Water a little at a time and combine.
(5) Kneed into a smooth dough ball and place in the fridge covered for 30 minutes.
(6) On a Floured surface roll the dough out so that it is a suitable size and thickness of the Pie casings.
(7) Line the base of the casings and add your cooled cooked filling.
(8) form a lid and glue it in place with a little beaten Egg.
(9) Brush with the remaining beaten Egg and place in a pre-heated oven at 180c.
(10) Cook for 30 to 40 minutes until it is golden brown and your filling is heated through.
(11) Remove carefully from the casings and serve.

The filling of these was Turkey and Leek and a white Sauce. But nobody wants to know about more Turkey at this time of year.

 

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