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Burger Pie - Because being too serious is bad for you...

Burger Pie

Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…

Just for fun…..

Ingredients:-

1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry

Method:-

(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the  Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the  Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the  Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.

We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
 

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Gulasz and Placki Ziemiaczane recipe, eat well on universal credit

So that’s Goulash and Potato Pancakes in English. Language is not a problem as long as the dish tastes good - Our Polish friends certainly know how to get the best out of very little…..

Gulasz Ingredients:-

500g of Pork Thigh, cubed
100g of Plain Flour (Gluten free for us)
3 Tbsp of Oil
1 Onion, diced
3 Carrots, chopped
3 Cloves of Garlic, minced
200ml of Chicken Stock
2 Tbsp of Tomato Puree
2 Tbsp of Paprika
1 Tsp of Allspice
2 Tbsp of Water
60Ml of Red Wine
3 Tbsp of Cornflour
Salt & Pepper, to season

Method:-

(1) Dredge the pork in Flour which you have seasoned with Salt & Pepper.
(2) In a large pan heat Oil and brown the Pork on all sides.
(3) Remove and set aside.
(4) Add the Onions to the pan, followed by the Carrots and cook until softened.
(5) Add the Garlic and stir in.
(6)Return the Pork to the pan and add the Stock, Tomato Puree, Paprika, Allspice and Red Wine.
(7) Simmer for a hour.
(8) In a jug blend the Cornflour with Water and add to the pan.
(9) Stir in and simmer for a further 30 minutes.
(10) Season to taste.

Placki Ziemiaczane Ingredients:-

3 Large Potatoes, grated
1 Onion, grated
1 Egg, beaten
Oil to fry
Salt & Pepper to season

Method:-

(1) Squeeze out the moisture from both the Potato and Onion using kitchen paper.
(2) In a bowl add the Egg and stir in the Flour.
(3) Season with Salt & Pepper.
(4) Beat until the mixture is smooth.
(5) Stir in the Potato and Onion.
(6) Heat Oil in a frying pan and spoon in the mixture, spreading until about ½ an inch thick.
(7) Fry for 2 to 3 minutes and each side.
(8) Repeat in batches and drain on kitchen paper.

As sprinkle of fresh Dill was all this needed. A really hearty meal for a pretty wintery day!

 

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