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Spachcock Chicken?

Spachcock Chicken recipe - Eat wel on Unoversal CreditOK let's dispense with the myths. Yes you can buy a Spachcock Chicken for £7 in the Supermarket. It's be nicely presented with a couple of sticks crossed through it and an oil and herb marinate. But it will generally be the size of a Sparrow!
 
So why bother? Don't!
 
Spachcock is an old Saxon word which basically means spread-eagled. Realistically if you have a pair of kitchen scissors and any bird you are good to go.
 
Birds , fowl, whatever you choose to call them, are basically an empty box with the good stuff on the outside. The ancient Greeks, the Romans, the.... well everybody before us knew that this is not the best physical structure for roasting. You know that Christmas Turkey with the dried breast meat and the thighs and wings which were always the best bits? There is a reason for that. Even in the best fan assisted oven and covered with foil the top of the bird is going to cook quicker than the parts in the tray and doubtlessly dry out.
 
So the fix?
 
Method:-
 
Get a cheap Chicken (Ours was £2.59 for nearly 2Kg).
With a pair of kitchen scissors cut from the rear to the front, taking out the spine. 
Now think of somebody you don't really like and spread the bird out. You might hear a few little bones breaking. Just continue thinking about that person you don't like!
Lay in a baking tray and oil well. Add Salt and Pepper and seasoning to your choice. We used Chilli flakes and Garlic salt.
Roast as you would normally but for about 10 minutes less, depending on the weight.
Remove from the oven, cover and let  rest for 10 minutes or so.
 
Serve with..... Well whatever you have really. Your Chicken will be the star of the show anyway. Moist, succulent and evenly cooked.
 
We'll probably get 3 meals out of this Chicken, for two humans and Buster The Dog! 

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Dodgy Spring Rolls recipe

We bought these Rice Wafers from the local Chinese Supermarket. They’ve sat in the draw for months. The main problem is that we thought we could use them as replacements for Wanton Wraps which are Wheat based (Not good for Sue) and the basis of your more traditional Spring Roll. WRONG!

As soon as you soak them in warm water they curl up and weld together in an very annoying clump! So as an experiment I whisked a couple of eggs, dunked the Rice paper disks in tepid water and then egg washed them. Yay it worked!!!! They don’t stick together but the parcels remain intact when you fry them.

I stuffed ours with some shredded left over cooked Chicken, Soy Sauce (Too much actually) grated Carrot, Lettuce etc. They were quite convincing to be fair. Served with the left over Welsh Potato Cake and a thrown together Coleslaw it was a bit of a mongrel dinner, but quite good.

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