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Burger Pie - Because being too serious is bad for you...

Burger Pie

Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…

Just for fun…..

Ingredients:-

1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry

Method:-

(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the  Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the  Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the  Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.

We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
 

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DIY Lacto-fermented Kimchi

There are probably a million Kimchi recipes and most will be family versions which are not written down as such. There is a tale behind this one. We bought a bag of Bean Sprouts for a stir-fry three weeks ago and as usual there were far too many for the two of us. So in a jar they went!

There’s a lot of “Witchcraft” spouted about the health benefits of Lacto-fermented vegetables. I’m sure it’s probably better for us than industrially made pickles. But we make it more because it’s fun, it tastes good and it’s a way of preserving bits and bobs which would otherwise die in the bottom of the fridge….

Ingredients:-

¾ of a bag of Bean Sprouts
2 small Onions
1/8 of a Red Cabbage
4 dried red Chilli pods
2 tsp Chilli Powder
Salt for brine
2 500ml Kilner type clip top jars

Method:-

(1) Make a 2% brine. That’s about 4 heaped table spoons of Salt to 1 litre of water. Allow this to cool to room temperature.
(2) Slice the larger items.
(3) Add the mixed ingredients to the jars and allow 1cm space at the top.
(4) Pour the brine over the veg and make sure everything is covered.
(5) Clip the lids and pop in a cupboard for 3+ weeks.
(6) Give the jams a swirl once in a while.

Once the fermentation has finished the gas production will settle down and your Kimchi will last for Months. Well not here it wont!

 

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