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Burger Pie - Because being too serious is bad for you...

Burger Pie

Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…

Just for fun…..

Ingredients:-

1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry

Method:-

(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the  Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the  Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the  Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.

We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
 

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The Hugh Kelly

We have this friend you see…. He has this thing about posting picture of the most appalling food. If you see a Wetherspoons plate you know he’s gone executive. If he’s on holiday in Eastern Europe you can pretty much expect to see live toads and entrails on his plate……

So just for you Hugh:-

½ a Giant Yorkshire Pudding ( Seems reasonable so far )
Parsnip crisps ( Also reasonable )
Boiled Carrots ( Still sounds OK? )
Deep fryed Lecto-Fremented Garlic Mushroom in a Gram Flour batter with Chilli seeds  ( Getting a bit harsh now )
Pork Loin steak griddled with whole grain Mustard ( No bad but a bit dry and the griddle will need a proper clear! )
Onion Gravy
Fresh Parsley from the planter box outside the make it all ‘Pretty’

Addition extras for Hugh

(1) One shaved raw Pigs scrotum.
(2) Vanilla Ice cream.
(3) A live Toad.
(4) Sawdust from a large west facing Sycamore tree.

Actually without the “Hugh Additions” it was quite tasty!

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