Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…
Just for fun…..
Ingredients:-
1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry
Method:-
(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.
We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
Let's dispel a few myths. The idea with beef is that the meat is best the further away from the horns as you can afford it. Shoulder of lamb is a great cut but hideously expensive and needs cooking for hours on a low heat. Pork shoulder was traditionally the cut of choice for making sausages, I've personally run thousands of kilos through a commercial mincer!
All that said. If you've not a great deal of money and it's on offer – why not? This joint cost us the frightening sum of £2.14 and in addition to last nights feast we'll be making a stir-fry from the remaining half for tonight. Shoulder pork is also the joint used for Pulled Pork which is effectively well over cooked meat shredded with BBQ sauce added to mask the lack of 'meat' flavour.
If it's been frozen (As ours was) Don't expect crackling. The ice created during home freezing breaks the fat / protein boundary structures. Commercially blast frozen joints might work better for crackling but there's nothing like a fresh cut. If you happen to have a Buster equivalent the slightly leathery rind is a free alternative you dog chews and certainly better appreciated!
Roasting:-
Ingredients:-
Pork shoulder
Oil
Salt & Pepper
Oh and an oven!
Method:-
Heat the oven to 220C
Rub the meat all over with Oil, Salt & Pepper
Place in the oven for 20 minutes
Lower the heat to 200c for a further 30 minutes
Lower the heat to 180c and cook until the meat runs clear. The longer you leave the better. Add a little stock to keep your joint moist if you are cooking for hours.
We served ours with veg, Yorkshire Pudding and home made gravy.